Jealousy

It's easy to look at the behavior of others to justify our feelings. But no matter what other people do or say, we are ultimately responsible for our own feelings. You could probably convince anyone who will listen that another person's behavior is deplorable and it's natural for you to feel the way you do. But isn't that giving them all the power over how you feel? How does giving away your power affect you? Can you do something to reverse that? Without my saying so, of course you know that you can. Intuitively you know that only you are responsible for how you feel.

Jealousy is a tricky one. Often, it is precipitated by a loved one acting inappropriately and not considering your feelings, or by an imagined indiscretion, or by comparing, or wanting, or coveting. More often than not, we create scenarios in our mind to feed this green-eyed monster. Usually, it has little to do with the truth, the real circumstances. Mostly it has to do with the fear of losing something or someone we want-case of our petty ego taking control. And our self esteem is often at issue whether we realize it or not. Because we're so intent on watching and imagining the antics of others, we cannot even see ourselves in the picture.

So the first thing to do when jealousy rears its ugly head is to do an about-face and look in the mirror at yourself. Investigate the source of the feeling. Divorce it from the current target. See how far back it goes. Then admit that at the core of the jealous feeling is love. Focus on that. See how fear gets into the mix to disguise and obscure the truth. Keep focusing on the love. Express those love feelings to the person who has aroused the jealousy. Take a risk. Express yourself, your truth, your love.

Don't expect anything in return. Luxuriate in the pure nature of giving. Withhold nothing. Spend it all. When you do this, love will come back to you tenfold. It may not come from where you're looking, so be prepared and open and available for anything. Don't lock yourself into any corners that you can't move out of. Open your heart wide, and love, not jealousy, will be your reward.

Focus on the Moment - I often have to come back to this one

The ultimate aim of quiet-corner practice is to bring ourselves into the present moment, to make ourselves aware of what is happening now - not yesterday or tomorrow, but now. It is to bring us into this moment and keep us here. You may not yet be aware that you are not always living in the moment. But as you continue on the quiet-corner path, your awareness will improve. You will notice more readily when you are regressing or projecting. When you do notice this happening, try centering your attention on your breath. Your breath will always help you focus on the present. If you take three deep breaths at such times, you will notice where you are and how you're feeling. Take stock of yourself. Look around you and notice something about your surroundings. Place yourself firmly in the present by taking note of the shoes you're wearing. Take three more deep breaths and notice your posture. Are you holding on to some tension? Breathe into it and let it go. What activity are you engaged in? Bring all your attention to it and breathe. Don't think about finishing it-just be in it.

Who's Looking - Thoughts on my Quiet Corner

Awards ceremonies, diplomas, honor rolls, first-place medals, promotions, pay raises, scholarships-these are just some of the ways that our society recognizes and rewards achievement. It is often what motivates us, the carrot at the end of the stick. When we search for a quiet corner, there is no tangible carrot awaiting us. And we're not being graded. No one is watching.

We enter the stream alone and report back only to ourselves. The rewards are quiet, subtle ones-no marching bands. When we keep at it, those we love will share in the benefits without perhaps even knowing how or why. Let your quiet corner be a place where you commune with yourself and, if it works for you, with your higher power. No one is watching. But everyone gains.